Based on my personal experiences dealing with my grandmother
Dementia comes in all kinds of shapes and sizes. My main
advice is:
Take your cue from
the patient
Let them determine how much they can hear and want to hear.
This article is organized by question. Questions I had, and
questions readers have asked. For now it's under construction. I will also discuss about Memory Healer program later.
My grandmother has Alzheimer’s
do I remind her who I am?
A question about
grandma
That question shows some sensitivity. I know my uncle makes
sure he reminds his mother who he is
I'd say that you should tell her who you are, yes.
Especially if she asks about it. But also just by and by. You know: remind her
of your parents: who's kid are you again? Say something like 'my mother, Ann,
always says'... That will put you in context for her, if she still remembers
the names of her kids.
What do I say when I
visit my alzheimer's grandma?
Yes, conversation can get pretty hard.
If you're not sure she knows who you are - just introduce
yourself. "I'm Anette and I'm your granddaughter" or "I'm Peter
I'm the oldest son of your daughter Mary".
My grandmother is used to having family around her be
silent, reading the newspaper or a book or something. So when conversation
falls flat, I often resort to just reading the papers. When I read something
funny, I'll read it to her. I have to explain a lot, usually, but she's still
capable of appreciating a good story. So for us, that works. But it depends on
your family traditions what will work for you. Just experiment.
Putting on music she'll like, serving tea or asking for
another cookie, talking about the weather - small talk will do in any case.
But don't be afraid of a little silence. I've often been
silent with my grandmother and had her suddenly come out of reverie asking a
question. Here I was thinking she'd dosed off, but actually she was probably
thinking hard about something.
In the end it's your mood that will speak to her. If you're
calm and accepting, preferably happy to see her (despite everything), she'll be
calm too.
And don't feel guilty about leaving after 30 minutes either.
Having visitors is a good thing for most Alzheimer patients, but they get tired
of it quickly too: after all, a lot of information they do not understand.
Should I lie to quiet
my mother down?
A daughter asks an
Alzheimer question
Yes, I do think lying may occasionally be necessary in dealing
with Alzheimer patients.
In other words: if the emotional truth is served, that's what’s
most important. Tell her what she can hear, that fits your world best.
For instance my grandmother still can't grasp that she is in
a home, taken care of daily. That she's been there for months and that
everybody knows who she is. So when I assure her dinner will be taken care of
(a daily worry for her), she may ask if I've talked to the staff about it. And
most of the time I will say - yes, I've talked to the staff about it. Even
though I've done no such thing and am not planning to.
My main concern is to stop her from worrying about where
food is coming from. Worrying about whether what I say is the truth is less
important. I do of course speak the truth where I can.
Should I really put
familiar stuff in my father's new home?
A question by an
adult son about his father
Yes. I know it may feel strange to not buy your father new
stuff as he's moving. I know my family at first felt like buying my grandmother
all kinds of new things. In the end though, one of my aunts managed to put some
of my grandma's old stuff in the room in a way that looked decent and was
practical.
We weren't too worried about my grandmother moving, because
she's always liked change and gets bored at things staying the same. But I'm
very glad we managed to put her old stuff around her, because now, when she's
confused about where she is - I can assure her it's her room by asking her to look
at all her familiar things.
Your father will need those reminders just as badly.
The Memory Healer
Program
A healing guide to cure Alzheimer disease, memory loss and
dementia problems. The book is created by Alexander Lynch and Dr. Ron Goldman
and covers most of the memory relates issues faced by patients. The book comes
in PDF format and downloadable from the official website of Memory HealerProgram.
Many conditions such as disorientation, cognitive illness
and dementia are covered in the program. It is also helpful for business people
and students, who want to keep a sharp memory and retain their knowledge in the
long run.
Does it help to make
a memory book?
Yes, there's research to show that creating a memory book
and having it as a talking point does help. It even helps people with
Alzheimer's become more coherent. In other words, they use words others
understand. This is of course a major help in their quality of life. And as
they communicate better, they're also more likely to get along with staff in a
nursing home. This too is essential to their wellbeing.
Aside from a memory book helping the patient, it also helps
those around the patient. It can contain information about deceased family
members, so that people helping out will know what the facts are and can point
them out in the book if the patient should ask for those people. It is very
usual for people to ask for their parents for instance. My grandmother also
asks for her brother and her husband. Since they're all gone, it is helpful in
the conversation to remind her of that.
How do you deal with
an Alzheimer patient repeating himself?
Is this true: "when people with Alzheimer's disease
repeat the same question or story several times, it is helpful to remind them
that they are repeating themselves"?
No, that will just embarrass them. Instead, just answer the
question in as few words as you can. If they recognize the answer, they will
look at you sheepishly. If not, they are so far gone that reminding them that
they've already asked that isn't going to help.
If they are repeating the same story over and over, you may
get tired of hearing it. I would not tell them I'd heard it before, but that
really depends on the relationship you have with the patient. It does give you
something to talk about after all, and in most cases conversation will get
pretty dry anyhow.
I'm personally happy when my grandmother talks at all.
Silences are getting longer and longer. She's still happy to have me around,
but she's no longer much of a conversationalist. But then, she doesn't really
repeat herself all that much. And when she does, she usually asks me whether
I've heard the story before.
Instead of reminding them that you've heard it before, you
may try and change the subject. Or serve something to eat or drink. Any
activity may help them get off the beaten track.
Just experiment with it and feel your way through.
How should you deal
with aggression in an Alzheimer patient
First of all: aggression, whether verbal or physical, is
caused by the confusion the patient is in. It has little to do with the people
treating the patient. Still, there are things you can do that will help
minimize aggression, and things you can do that will escalate the problem.
Stay Calm - this is probably the most important tip I could
give. Your calm will reach the patient where words have stopped helping
(because they're not remembered long enough).
Find out the triggers - keep a diary to find out what
triggers aggression, so you can try and find a way of dealing with it that is
better. A common trigger is confusion itself. Things like not knowing what to
do with choice - so choosing for the patient. This may feel like babying them,
but when the point comes that nothing makes sense, helping them organize their
world by making them a sandwich instead of asking what they want is a good
idea.
Soothing music may help - I once calmed my grandmother down
by going outside with her (always a help in her case) and simply humming a
tune. Like staying calm, the clue is that the emotions should and can be calmed
even if the mind is in turmoil and confusion.
Nothing you can do will totally prevent aggression, because
nothing you can do can prevent confusion in someone who's loosing their mind.
Last Tip – Memory loss has become a common issue nowadays.
Many people are suffering from various memory related problems. It is a good
idea to read a book that helps to deal with such illnesses. Alexander Lynch and
Ron Goldman Memory Healer Program is a handy detailed eBook which provides a
step by step process to deal with Alzheimer disease and Dementia. Find out more
information about Memory healer program by reading this review: http://memoryhealerprogramreviews.strikingly.com/
